There was quite a debate happening in my house recently. Our academy dropped a bomb of an announcement with very little to no warning. Any warning they did leak was subtle and down played what was actually about to take place. It was a shock, and it shook our family for a brief moment.
Now, I hadn’t gone too far off the deep end. The closest I got to actually leaving our academy was seeing if another academy that had put out a “Coming Soon” post had actually opened its doors or not. Even then, I was more curious than planning our escape.
Honestly, I think it was a bit of an overreaction looking back, but I put the blame on a similar family event that happened while we were attending a church a few years ago. We realized the toxicity of the church, and fortunately I was able to lead my family out of that situation before we go some serious church hurt. But even to this day, I can see the residual effects of that situation and hurt we did endure. And I think I saw it this week in the dropping of this news.
Here was the problem with the news drop. At first, part of it we were expecting, although it didn’t come quite as we had heard it might. But honestly, it wasn’t anything that was going to greatly change or impact our lives and how or when we train Jiu-Jitsu. The main problem was the unexpected, never mentioned or hinted at, seemingly money grab the gym put out there. I was mostly concerned with how that detail would impact our training opportunities.
And when the news dropped, it was sudden. Like 24-48 hours before the change took effect. I know I wasn’t the only one to question and be thrown into a tailspin over it. Comments were blowing up with questions, some general inquiries, other very focused and nearly assaultive questions. I went to work, not fuming or anything, but the change was on my mind most of my shift.
Then the day came where we’d be stepping into the new rhythm. Before we left the house, I prefaced our trip to the academy with a, “Let’s go in with an open mind and see what’s what. Don’t say anything (looking at my kids). And be ready for delays and hiccups as this is new for the coaches too.”
And we went. And it wasn’t bad. There were some delays. Some confusion due to a few typos in the announcement. There was some confusion about the new membership levels, but 99% of the problems were worked out before we left that first night. And the following morning, there was an announcement with a few more updates to the change. They were in favor of what we, collectively as students and parents, were all thinking about, and very likely speaking out on.
What also helped was that when our head coach and owner came in, he kind of shared where the change actually came from. And it didn’t seem like it was from a position of greed. The problem is, and will be for some time, that I had the same feeling about those pastors of that church. I trusted them until my eyes were opened and I saw what was really happening behind the curtain. And I trust the owner. I know he’s part of groups that mentor in business, specifically in martial arts businesses and I kind of figure he was looking at models of other schools and realizing that he has to evolve with the times.
His main reason, because he obviously didn’t bring up money, was that he wants to change to help facilitate the upbringing of higher level martial artists in our school. He wants to make it easier for a student to be a well-rounded martial artist that is in line with the ideology of our school’s lineage. He wanted to create a better road to black belt(s) for his students. I get that. And I appreciate it. And after a week or so of this newness, I’m kind of digging the changes. It helped that the bomb portion of the announcement ended up not effecting us all that much.
But there was that moment. That moment where I was ready to abandon ship. Not without giving them a chance. But for a bit, for a brief moment of time, I was ready to go in with an exit plan in mind. I’m glad that I took the time to breathe and think it through, because I think if I went in with that mentality, I would have gone in with one foot out the door. There was nothing that they could have said or done to change that.
That’s the actual lesson, I think. That when we have those moments, whether it’s a moment where we’re ready to quit, or leave, or do something else rash, we can’t go into the situation leaning towards that rash decision. We have to take that second or two to take a breath and process through the situation rationally. To slow down and let the rash thoughts go for a moment, and go in with an open mind. I didn’t convince myself that our head coach was the Grand Master and I must do anything he says. I just went into it indifferent. Leaning back on that “No Expectations, No Disappointments” mentality. And I wasn’t disappointed.
My son’s a little salty, be he’ll grow out of that.
Thanks for reading.
Thinking Through Jiu-Jitsu 