HUZZAH!

A Story About How Persistency Paid Off

I knew all it would take was to get him through the door. I just needed him to get on the mats, and it would be game over. And that was it. That was all it took. One class. And that was that.

I have been trying to get my buddy to come to Jiu-Jitsu for some time now. Month after month. Probably for over a year now. I knew it was what he needed. I knew how good it would be for him. But he’s stubborn. He’s full of excuses. He’s a bit bashful and was scared of being awkward. But he finally showed up. And even in all his reluctance on his ride over. Even in his doubts and excuses to already not come back, he signed up. He’s in. And I’m freakin’ stoked.

We’ve been friends for a little while now. We went through school together and faced struggles of getting board certified and finding employment and the whole nine yards. He had a little of a rougher go at it, and I stood by his side, supporting him however I could and whispering “Jiu-Jitsu” in his ear.

But he always had an excuse. After this test. After this interview. After I get through orientation. After whatever else he could come up with. I’d get his work schedule, compare it to mine and invite him to join me on any class that would fall on our mutual days off.

That didn’t work.

He’d say things like, “just give me a day or two notice.”

That didn’t work.

He’d say things like, “you gotta just get me on my day off when I have no excuse.”

That didn’t work.

And finally. FINALLY, he texts me and asks if I’m going to Jiu-Jitsu this week. I told him the days, and he gave me a maybe on one of them. I shared my excitement, told him what to wear, what to bring and offered to drive.

I shared my doubt with my wife. He’s done this act before. He’s gonna flake. And it sucks, because we both know it’s exactly what he needs in his life.

He’s got a lot going on. He and his wife were both in school and both recent grads in their fields. They both started new jobs. They both want to start a family.

One of his excuses, which is the lamest excuse of them all, was he was too fat to start Jiu-Jitsu. “I just gotta lose a few pounds before I try.” I’d always answer, “wanna know a good trick to lose some weight? Have you tried Jiu-Jitsu?”

There was a time that I was sending him at least weekly messages inviting him or memes about inviting friends to Jiu-Jitsu, or memes about being lazy, etc. At some points, I’d ease off, knowing that his excuse at the moment had more validity than others. Sometimes, when I knew his excuses were weak and his schedule was open, I’d be more persistent.

And persistency paid off. He came to class. He tried it out. He almost quit. He swore he wasn’t coming back. But by the end of the night, he knew. He knew it was what he needed. Maybe not as a lifetime hobby, or maybe it will become just that. But he realized that all his bitches, gripes and complaints could literally be solved by Jiu-Jitsu.

I honestly don’t even really have a true though about Jiu-Jitsu, I’m just ecstatic that he finally showed up. Not just showed up, but signed up.

But to be honest. I know the battle is only half over. How many times have you gotten someone in on a trial, only to never see them cast a shadow on the mats again? The thing about persistency, is you have to be persistent. I know now, it may be easier to get him to come to a class. After all, he’s paying for it. But now it’s just making sure he isn’t flushing money down the proverbial toilet. It’s keeping on him and making sure he’s going. I can already hear the excuses that he doesn’t want to go if I’m not there or some weak B.S. like that.

So I know the next phase of his journey is to develop discipline around Jiu-Jitsu. He’s already asked questions about how promotions come, shared his concerns about his weight. So right off the bat, he has some goals. Helping him to sit down and write out or at least think out, some clear goals he has will give him a destination – even though in Jiu-Jitsu, the destination is the journey.

Next to the goals, it will be helping he develop the new habit of going to class. There are a plethora of classes and times to choose from, and I already mentioned that he should shoot for three classes a week. More is great, but don’t overdo it and sacrifice time at home, especially right off the bat. His wife and home life will have to grow with him has he develops these new habits. What helps me is to almost ritualize the process of going to Jiu-Jitsu. I pack our bag the same, I bring the same drink and have a standard routine once I’m at the gym. This helps me to stay consistent.

Finally, it’ll be getting him into the community. Our gym is pretty good about being welcoming, but at the same time, we see people come and go. So it’s almost like, we don’t want to invest too much too soon into people who are going to drop off the face of the planet sooner or later. But what helped keep me going was finding those people around me, about the same amount of experience, (and about the same size) to become my go to training partners. I don’t always train with the same people, but if I’ve had a week of crappy partners or a bunch of new people, I don’t have to put much brain power into knowing that they’ll be a good training partner, or that they’ll be a good match for a roll.

Hopefully, in six months I can write again about his progress and how great he’s doing. If you see a blog post about why people quit within their first six months of training, then you’ll know what happened.

Thanks for reading.